Last night we attended a book signing at Brownstone Bookstore in Brooklyn. Yes, HTC travels ;). This event was a 2 fold. There was an author promoting his first book  and a panelist of 4 men discussing Black love. It touch on the issues within our community on the challenges of a loving relationship. Trust me when I tell you it was the hardest thing sitting and just listening. Literally, I was falling out of my chair. Listening  to 4 men talk about some of thier struggles and the challenges of being
able to love someone and the constant work that needes to be on  themselves.  For  me this really touched home because I recently was divorce. 
 
Today, I have get naked and say  I am a strong person, but this situation right here has (WHEW!) truly broken me. I get so mad at myself trying to understand what I did wrong and how can I be better the next time. Last night really sparked something inside to make me have no sleep and walk to my friend's house at 6 in  the morning. Yes, I said SIX!!! While walking I begin to played out my life to try and understand why I couldnt help the one I loved. Then it really dawn on me ( ok I have had this revelaltion a couple of times - ha!) that I cant help anyone that does not want to help themselves. Now people this goes across the board. But I believe its more devasting when you truly love this person and they just cant see it. 
 
I can tell I am getting a little long winded so allow me to begin to wrap up.  After crying on my friends couch, I was reminded of the great work GOD has done and is doing. I am not going to say that I am not faced with challenges of healing my heart, but I realize that I have the best HEALER in my corner. And know that this  will pass because the greater good is coming. WE are preparing me to recieved it!!  I am no preacher, but GOD has provided me with a gift of a voice and I believe its fine time that I use it!
 
Thank  you to the four men last night who allow us to see no matter how good its looks on  the outside that continued work is being done to better themselves. Thank you for giving me the courage to take a loooooonnnnggggg look in the mirror. You guys have truly inspired me to utilized the gift GOD has giving me- MY VOICE!!! 
 
Blessings,
G.....